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The larger, more "bulbous" top presses against your partner's clitoris in many sex positions, allowing for maximum stimulation. "Just be cautious about buying the cheapest toy you can find because some of the ultra-cheap products might be made of questionable materials and have low durability," says Lehmiller. Plus, if you spend a little more, you can get a higher-tech toy that will offer more customization options, thereby allowing you to tailor it to your tastes and give you more variety in how you use it, he says. I miss what our sex life once was because despite my wife not having as strong of a libido, she’s been willing to try things in bed over the years, and when we are in the moment it is wonderful. Some things have been more mutually enjoyable than others and they have stayed in the repertoire while others she didn’t enjoy as much and we’ve abandoned. I appreciate her willingness to try new things and respect that some of the things we’ve tried she didn’t enjoy (my enjoyment of them doesn’t really matter because it’s a lot less fun when only one person is into it).

The best models are usually curved and feature vibrating or manual stimulation options. Our sex life has been good but has become less and less frequent as the kids have gotten older. Ninety-nine times out of 100 I am the initiator because I have the more active libido. I’ve suggested we schedule sex but she says that feels like too much pressure. I’ve recommended we try to find time when it’s just the two of us (meeting back at the house during a lunch break while the kids are at school) but she doesn’t like the idea of us going back out into the world after sex.

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